physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
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