Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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