But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Still dying that you shit outside
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
