The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
