oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
