i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
