Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
