good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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