absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
