i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
