Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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