? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
