apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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