Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize