I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
