Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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