The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
