he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
