so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
