Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
