That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize