this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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