We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Randomize
