After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
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