maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
