you have to choose: penises or morals?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
