Someone shit on the floor
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
