Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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