Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
