I'm jealous of your bromance
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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