At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
