I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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