We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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