Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
