I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
