Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
i out mim tonsoeep
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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