whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
