margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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