Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
