He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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