And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
How naked do you want me to be?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
