I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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