Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
