i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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