YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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