guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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