oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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