I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
