We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
