Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
