Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
