that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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