never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
