i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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