i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
