So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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