Your tits are I can't wait for
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
